365 DAYS OF GRATITUDE – DAY 96: What If You Actually Chose Your Life?

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OK, I know, you might be raising your eyebrows and get into a battle mood: “What do you mean: I chose my life? How could I have chosen this? Do you know what I have been through, what I had to endure? Do you know the pain, the hardship, the trauma that my life has given me?”.

Please do not be offended, and please do keep reading. I get it, I felt it, I know it. I’ve seen it. Life has been truly hard for some people and I cannot even begin to understand the trials and the tears some people experienced in their lives. What I want to offer you right now is a twist in the plot that might offer you a different perspective.

So stay with me on this. Just be open to look at things from a different perspective, just be willing to contemplate a different point of view.

What if you did choose all this? What would this mean? Where would that lead you?

If we stay in the paradigm that you actually chose your life, then there must be a reason behind your choosing. There must be something that made you decide to have the experiences you’ve been having. So if we stay on this reasoning path, what did these experiences teach you? How did you grow as a result of what you had to deal with? Where did your life take you? What were the gifts, the blessings and the extraordinary? Do think about it. Allow this perspective to open up the possibility of understanding your life in a completely different way. Ponder it, even if you don’t agree. Allow yourself to ponder, to wonder, to discover, to reframe, to rethink and to start understanding something deeper and more powerful than you have ever felt before.

Allow. Ponder. Contemplate. There are hidden gifts in doing that.

Love,

Rucsandra  Continue reading

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365 DAYS OF GRATITUDE – DAY 84: Forgiving Yourself

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“Remember, we do not have to know how to forgive. All we have to do is be willing to forgive. The Universe will take care of the how. ” – Louise Hay

Forgiveness is a choice. We might not know how to forgive but first we must be willing. I shared with you the painful and powerful moment in my own life when I came face to face with forgiveness as being my choice. In the post entitled Ioana’s Death I wrote:

“In that courtroom, I was fully present in a heightened state of awareness. I was aware of the greatness of that very moment. I knew that it was my choice and my choice only. Life is truly made of what we choose to do with what we encounter.”

Forgiving yourself is no different. You have the power to choose forgiveness over punishment, shame, guilt and blame. You are powerful beyond measure and you have the capacity to set yourself free. But you must want it first and, as Dr. Wayne Dyer says “be willing to entertain the possibility”.

If you are facing the choice of forgiving yourself or continuing to punish yourself for days, months and years to come start here, right now.

Ask yourself if you are willing to forgive the person you were when you did what you did or made the decision that you have been regretting and blaming yourself for ever since. If you are not, accept it as it is, knowing that the possibility exists and revisit the question in a few weeks.

If you are willing, then make the choice right now: choose forgiveness. So far you have been choosing punishment, over and over. Choose differently this time. Choose to forgive yourself.

Trust life to show you how. Your willingness to choose a new path for your life is enough to set the wheels of the Universe in motion. Stay open, allow yourself to be vulnerable, listen and pay attention to the changes that will take place inside you, one step at a time.

Give yourself permission to forgive. You can do it. I know you can, even though you might feel that you cannot. I will hold the torch for you: the torch of refusing to continue limiting yourself by not letting go. YOU CAN DO IT!

Love,

Rucsandra Continue reading

365 DAYS OF GRATITUDE – DAY 83: Can’t Forgive Yourself? Shatter some taboos!

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It is easier to forgive someone else than to forgive yourself. Why do you think that is? I will tell you what I came to understand about this inability to forgive ourselves. Our upbringing and what our families, schools and society taught us from a very early age among other things is that we are supposed to have all the answers, to be better than others in order to succeed, to be on top of all things at all timer, to work really hard, to keep our mouths shut and to sacrifice ourselves for other people.

With what I know and understand now, I consider that about %90 percent of what we were taught about relationships, money, wars, sex, intuition, power, love, success, history, failure and life in general does not serve us at all. Shocking? Maybe, but think about it with an open mind. Were you taught with kindness, compassion, forgiveness and unconditional love or were you taught through discipline, through punishment and reward, through judgement and comparison with other kids? Take some time to think. This might be rough for you to look at, but please do. Give yourself the gift of honesty and clarity. Let me know if I can assist you with this. What I now know is that understanding the past through the lens of compassion and with an open heart allows us to grow emotionally, to become aware, to be authentic and access the joyful, non-suffering quality of life.

You might not agree with what I am saying, and that is OK. Do not agree, but allow yourself to look at things from different perspectives, to question everything and then decide for yourself. What I am doing is offer you another option, a different angle and sometimes maybe a breath of fresh air through a new view on things.

I don’t like taboos and believe that we must break free from them. Wikipedia says:

A taboo is a vehement prohibition of an action based on the belief that such behavior is either too sacred or too accursed for ordinary individuals to undertake, under threat of supernatural punishment. Such prohibitions are present in virtually all societies. The word has been somewhat expanded in the social sciences to strong prohibitions relating to any area of human activity or custom that is sacred or forbidden based on moral judgment and religious beliefs.  “Breaking a taboo” is usually considered objectionable by society in general, not merely a subset of a culture.

Let’s break some taboos right now by being willing to look at things that are hard to look at and that are not talked about.

Going back to how you were brought up, you now have a very strong belief in success and failure, right and wrong and you believe that the wrong doings must be punished; you believe that so strongly, that you are willing to punish yourself for years for something you did in your past. You think that you failed or you believe that you were wrong and you look at your past decisions with judgment and with no compassion. You want to punish yourself because you think you did something wrong and you are willing to continue punishing yourself for years and years.

I say that is ENOUGH! Haven’t you suffered enough? Haven’t you felt the pain of it all over and over? Let go, let go, let go. Break the taboos within yourself. You did the best you could at the time, with what you knew to be true at that time. How many more years are you going to make yourself suffer? Be willing to contemplate forgiveness. There’s more to come tomorrow, but for now, just contemplate the possibility of forgiveness.

Louise Hay says:

“Remember, we do not have to know how to forgive. All we have to do is be willing to forgive. The Universe will take care of the how. “

Love,

Rucsandra Continue reading

365 DAYS OF GRATITUDE – DAY 69: The Willingness to Contemplate

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The willingness to contemplate is extremely powerful. I love these words: the willingness to contemplate. Dr. Wayne Dyer says:

“The law of flotation was not discovered by contemplating the sinking of things. […] The Wright brothers didn’t contemplate the staying on the ground of things. Alexander Graham Bell didn’t contemplate the non-communication of things. Thomas Edison didn’t contemplate the darkness of things. In order to float an idea into your reality, you must be willing to do a somersault into the inconceivable and land on your feet, contemplating what you want instead of what you don’t have.”

I AM INVITING YOU TO HAVE THE WILLINGNESS TO CONTEMPLATE the possibility that in every event, circumstance and interaction with other people there is something to be grateful for. I am not trying to convince you. I am simply inviting you to be willing to contemplate something different and to be willing to look at things in a different light.

Even if it seems quite impossible to you to release something painful or forgive someone who has hurt you and made you suffer, if you open yourself up to the possibility that there might be more to it than what meets the eye, you will soon start to see that there was a touch of grace in that situation and a reason for you to feel grateful.

You do not need to struggle with this; just be willing to see it from a different angle and your openness and willingness alone will create the space for deeper awareness.

I believe that one can only teach from one own’s individual experience, so tomorrow I will tell you about a time in my life when I realized that even in the hardest of times, we have the choice to find that spark of gratitude or be consumed by anger. pain or grief.

Love,

Rucsandra Continue reading