Today I am grateful for feeling quiet inside my mind, inside my own being. I celebrate the calmness and ease that have become my internal state. It hasn’t always been like this. I lived the larger part of my life, like most people do, in worry, in fear, in emotional turmoil and anxiety. The transformation did not happen over night; it rather came in small increments over the past few years as the result of my continuous efforts to understand myself, to release the past and to allow faith to guide me.
I studied many different healing modalities and had many teachers. I read countless books on the connection between emotional health, subconscious programming and physical health. I attended seminars, workshops and learned about meditation. I continued to learn about the physical body and expanded my studies to the emotional body and the energetic body. I went on to understand the spiritual aspect of who I was. I welcomed new ideas and challenging thoughts.
You might think that because of all that, I have reached this wonderful place of calmness. That isn’t true. Learning everything that I have learned expanded my horizons, but created no change; it increased my awareness of the countless possibilities and the very numerous paths that are available to all of us, but it did not bring about the sense of calmness and balance that I am now so grateful for.
What allowed the transformation to take place was not all the knowledge I accumulated or the intellectual understanding of specific concepts. The transformation did not happen because I worked with great teachers and facilitators.
It was my own inner work that made the shift a reality. The teachers and the books have showed me that there were doors to be opened, but I had to desire and have the courage to open them. I had to decide for myself to actually take the first step after opening one of these doors. And I had to find the inner resources to continue walking forward. I had to make the decision to not succumb to fear and keep walking; over and over I had to make this very decision.
Now, I want you to know that every once in a while I still have a day when my mind is cluttered and fear starts to get a hold of me, but I am not willing to spend any precious time in a cluttered and fearful place, so I use my knowledge to release fear and resistance, clear my mind and return to a state of inner balance.
Doing my own inner work was worth it. Still is.