365 DAYS OF GRATITUDE – DAY 85: Authenticity

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“Authenticity is a collection of choices that we have to make every day. It’s about the choice to show up and be real. The choice to be honest. The choice to let our true selves be seen.” Brené Brown, The Gifts of Imperfection

Show up and be real! I strive to do that everyday, and if I start to feel uncomfortable in my own skin, it means that I am not showing up fully as myself. This awareness is a gift, because it allows me to realign, re-calibrate and return to who I truly am; it allows me to stay real.

Authenticity means undisputed credibility; it means to be true to one’s personality, spirit, or character; genuine, real; not false or copied.

Being authentic implies that you honor yourself. Being authentic means you stand by yourself in all your choices, words, actions and mistakes. Living authentically is not always easy, as it requires you to pay attention to your words and your actions; to continuously stay in touch with your feelings and ask yourself the questions that you would rather not ask.

The inner fight between your heart and the reality you are creating for yourself, between what you truly desire and what you are allowing as part of your life can tear you apart in more ways than one.

“Authenticity is the alignment of head, mouth, heart, and feet – thinking, saying, feeling, and doing the same thing – consistently. ”  – Dr. Lance Secretan

Here’s my invitation to you:

  • Write down two aspects in your life in which you are ALREADY authentic: a little one that you might think is not that important and a bigger one that you are proud of.
  • Then write down two aspects in your life in which you believe yo are not YET authentic: one small, that you can change right away and one bigger, that you do not know what to do about.

How’s that sound? A little scary? Great! Do it anyway. Your authenticity is worth it.

Love,

Rucsandra

 

 

365 DAYS OF GRATITUDE – DAY 84: Forgiving Yourself

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“Remember, we do not have to know how to forgive. All we have to do is be willing to forgive. The Universe will take care of the how. ” – Louise Hay

Forgiveness is a choice. We might not know how to forgive but first we must be willing. I shared with you the painful and powerful moment in my own life when I came face to face with forgiveness as being my choice. In the post entitled Ioana’s Death I wrote:

“In that courtroom, I was fully present in a heightened state of awareness. I was aware of the greatness of that very moment. I knew that it was my choice and my choice only. Life is truly made of what we choose to do with what we encounter.”

Forgiving yourself is no different. You have the power to choose forgiveness over punishment, shame, guilt and blame. You are powerful beyond measure and you have the capacity to set yourself free. But you must want it first and, as Dr. Wayne Dyer says “be willing to entertain the possibility”.

If you are facing the choice of forgiving yourself or continuing to punish yourself for days, months and years to come start here, right now.

Ask yourself if you are willing to forgive the person you were when you did what you did or made the decision that you have been regretting and blaming yourself for ever since. If you are not, accept it as it is, knowing that the possibility exists and revisit the question in a few weeks.

If you are willing, then make the choice right now: choose forgiveness. So far you have been choosing punishment, over and over. Choose differently this time. Choose to forgive yourself.

Trust life to show you how. Your willingness to choose a new path for your life is enough to set the wheels of the Universe in motion. Stay open, allow yourself to be vulnerable, listen and pay attention to the changes that will take place inside you, one step at a time.

Give yourself permission to forgive. You can do it. I know you can, even though you might feel that you cannot. I will hold the torch for you: the torch of refusing to continue limiting yourself by not letting go. YOU CAN DO IT!

Love,

Rucsandra Continue reading

365 DAYS OF GRATITUDE – DAY 83: Can’t Forgive Yourself? Shatter some taboos!

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It is easier to forgive someone else than to forgive yourself. Why do you think that is? I will tell you what I came to understand about this inability to forgive ourselves. Our upbringing and what our families, schools and society taught us from a very early age among other things is that we are supposed to have all the answers, to be better than others in order to succeed, to be on top of all things at all timer, to work really hard, to keep our mouths shut and to sacrifice ourselves for other people.

With what I know and understand now, I consider that about %90 percent of what we were taught about relationships, money, wars, sex, intuition, power, love, success, history, failure and life in general does not serve us at all. Shocking? Maybe, but think about it with an open mind. Were you taught with kindness, compassion, forgiveness and unconditional love or were you taught through discipline, through punishment and reward, through judgement and comparison with other kids? Take some time to think. This might be rough for you to look at, but please do. Give yourself the gift of honesty and clarity. Let me know if I can assist you with this. What I now know is that understanding the past through the lens of compassion and with an open heart allows us to grow emotionally, to become aware, to be authentic and access the joyful, non-suffering quality of life.

You might not agree with what I am saying, and that is OK. Do not agree, but allow yourself to look at things from different perspectives, to question everything and then decide for yourself. What I am doing is offer you another option, a different angle and sometimes maybe a breath of fresh air through a new view on things.

I don’t like taboos and believe that we must break free from them. Wikipedia says:

A taboo is a vehement prohibition of an action based on the belief that such behavior is either too sacred or too accursed for ordinary individuals to undertake, under threat of supernatural punishment. Such prohibitions are present in virtually all societies. The word has been somewhat expanded in the social sciences to strong prohibitions relating to any area of human activity or custom that is sacred or forbidden based on moral judgment and religious beliefs.  “Breaking a taboo” is usually considered objectionable by society in general, not merely a subset of a culture.

Let’s break some taboos right now by being willing to look at things that are hard to look at and that are not talked about.

Going back to how you were brought up, you now have a very strong belief in success and failure, right and wrong and you believe that the wrong doings must be punished; you believe that so strongly, that you are willing to punish yourself for years for something you did in your past. You think that you failed or you believe that you were wrong and you look at your past decisions with judgment and with no compassion. You want to punish yourself because you think you did something wrong and you are willing to continue punishing yourself for years and years.

I say that is ENOUGH! Haven’t you suffered enough? Haven’t you felt the pain of it all over and over? Let go, let go, let go. Break the taboos within yourself. You did the best you could at the time, with what you knew to be true at that time. How many more years are you going to make yourself suffer? Be willing to contemplate forgiveness. There’s more to come tomorrow, but for now, just contemplate the possibility of forgiveness.

Louise Hay says:

“Remember, we do not have to know how to forgive. All we have to do is be willing to forgive. The Universe will take care of the how. “

Love,

Rucsandra Continue reading

365 DAYS OF GRATITUDE – DAY 81: The Truth Letter

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What I am about to share with you today will allow you to connect with yourself at a really deep level and release emotional clutter. This is powerful and it works, but you must be willing to take responsibility for your own feelings.

If you are ready, let’s do it!

Think about a person in your life whose actions affected you negatively. If you can still feel the hurt, anger, blame or pain than this is the perfect thing for you to do right now. So set aside a half an hour of undisturbed time. Put your phone away, turn off the computer, radio or TV. Take a pen and a paper, sit down in a quiet spot, breathe deeply and write this person a letter. You will not send it to them, so give yourself the gift of honesty and write exactly how you feel. This emotional cleansing technique is not about the other person, it is about you and you only.

In this letter, tell them everything that you want to tell them. How hurt you felt, how hard it was for you, how much trouble their action or inaction created for you. Do not blame them and do not tell them how they should have behaved differently. This letter is not about them, what they did or did not do; this letter is about YOU, how you felt or still feel as a result of their actions. This letter is about you learning to express your feelings and emotions, to own them and to share them without blame.

I want you to pour your heart out into this letter. Be ruthless in your honesty and hold nothing back. Nobody else will ever see this letter, so please do not censor your feelings or your thoughts. You have the right to feel everything that you are feeling, so do not make things lighter or sugar-coat them. Just say it as it is, write down what you truly feel and refrain yourself from judging and finger pointing. Just state the truth of what is in your heart.

You can do it. Sit down, write the letter today.

Once the letter is completed, sit in the awareness of your emotions and notice  how you feel, now that you got off your chest everything you wanted to say.

Tomorrow I will teach you what to do with it.

Love,

Rucsandra