DAY 259: Forgive Yourself For Not Being Perfect

angry with yourself

For every situation that you are still angry about, YOU AND ONLY YOU are responsible for letting go.

But what happens when you are angry with yourself?

People say that this type of anger is even harder to let go of.

Is it, really?

Let me get into this a little: you are angry with yourself for something you did or for something you did not do, but the truth is that you have the choice to forgive yourself and move on.

Of course, you can choose to continue to be angry, but this will also continue to poison your body and your mind.

Is this what you really want?

What is done is done.

In an article entitled “Forgiveness“, Louise Hay says:

“The reality of true forgiveness lies in setting yourself free from the pain. It’s simply an act of releasing yourself from the negative energy that you’ve chosen to hold on to. […] No matter what your reasons are for having bitter, unforgiving feelings, you can go beyond them. You have a choice. You can choose to stay stuck and resentful, or you can do yourself a favor by willingly forgiving what happened in the past; letting it go; and then moving on to create a joyous, fulfilling life. You have the freedom to make your life anything you want it to be because you have freedom of choice.”

And here’s a forgiveness affirmation from Louise Hay:

I FORGIVE MYSELF FOR NOT BEING PERFECT. I AM LIVING THE VERY BEST WAY I KNOW HOW.

Love,

Rucsandra

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365 DAYS OF GRATITUDE – DAY 128: And Because We Are All Connected…

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… the ONLY way to change what we see happening today in our world is to do our own inner work. Each and every one of us. The transformation starts inside, with how we feel and what we think.

Every action we take is driven by our inside world, even when the actions are charitable, well-intentioned and helpful to others.

We are powering our immediate life and our immediate world with our feelings and with our thoughts.

Are you judging yourself? Are you judging others? That judgment propagates outside of yourself and instills judgment in others. Change it inside yourself first, release all judgment. Your transformation will inspire your family, your friends, your co-workers, your neighbors.

I am inviting you right now to stop for a moment and look deep inside yourself, with complete honesty and see who, what and how you are judging yourself and others. Be honest. Just look. Make a commitment to yourself to see it all. You can only change something that you are aware of. So become aware first.

I don’t know what changing the world means: it is too vast; and where do we start; who is going to start; what do we need in order to do that?

But what I know, beyond the shadow of a doubt, is that I can change my inner world, so that there is no judgment.

And you can change your inner world, so that all judgment stops inside you.

And then… you and I together will teach others to release judgment.

Do you see it now?

It starts inside each one of us.

Feels like a lot?

It is not.

It works.

Let’s do it.

TOGETHER!

Love,

Rucsandra

365 DAYS OF GRATITUDE – DAY 127: Why I Am Writing These Posts

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I started this 365 Days of Gratitude blog because I believe that we are all connected in ways we cannot yet comprehend. I believe that as each one of us is shifting the inner perception from the lower vibration feelings (anger, fear, shame, hatred) to the higher vibration feelings (acceptance, love, compassion, forgiveness) we become more aware and we help raise the awareness level for everyone around us.

As I am writing my posts everyday I feel connected with you; because of this connection I write with ease.  My words might inspire you to be more, do more, create more; or my words might challenge your belief systems and offer you a different point of view.

Regardless of the fact that you agree with what I am saying or not, as I am writing, I am becoming more authentic and my inner essence becomes more visible to you; as you are opening yourself up to reading something new, as you are willing to contemplate the possibility of a different way of being you allow more of who you truly are to come to the surface.

Our connection allows us both to become less afraid of showing the world who we are and what we can do. Because we are connected, the subtle energy field between us becomes less opaque; it becomes stronger, clearer and more vibrant. And in turn, it starts to affect the people around me and the people around you.

These wonderful ripples of awareness and connection intensify the desire to transcend what we think are our limitations. We raise each other up.

So you see, I write my daily posts because I AM CONNECTED WITH YOU.

Love,

Rucsandra

365 DAYS OF GRATITUDE – DAY 84: Forgiving Yourself

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“Remember, we do not have to know how to forgive. All we have to do is be willing to forgive. The Universe will take care of the how. ” – Louise Hay

Forgiveness is a choice. We might not know how to forgive but first we must be willing. I shared with you the painful and powerful moment in my own life when I came face to face with forgiveness as being my choice. In the post entitled Ioana’s Death I wrote:

“In that courtroom, I was fully present in a heightened state of awareness. I was aware of the greatness of that very moment. I knew that it was my choice and my choice only. Life is truly made of what we choose to do with what we encounter.”

Forgiving yourself is no different. You have the power to choose forgiveness over punishment, shame, guilt and blame. You are powerful beyond measure and you have the capacity to set yourself free. But you must want it first and, as Dr. Wayne Dyer says “be willing to entertain the possibility”.

If you are facing the choice of forgiving yourself or continuing to punish yourself for days, months and years to come start here, right now.

Ask yourself if you are willing to forgive the person you were when you did what you did or made the decision that you have been regretting and blaming yourself for ever since. If you are not, accept it as it is, knowing that the possibility exists and revisit the question in a few weeks.

If you are willing, then make the choice right now: choose forgiveness. So far you have been choosing punishment, over and over. Choose differently this time. Choose to forgive yourself.

Trust life to show you how. Your willingness to choose a new path for your life is enough to set the wheels of the Universe in motion. Stay open, allow yourself to be vulnerable, listen and pay attention to the changes that will take place inside you, one step at a time.

Give yourself permission to forgive. You can do it. I know you can, even though you might feel that you cannot. I will hold the torch for you: the torch of refusing to continue limiting yourself by not letting go. YOU CAN DO IT!

Love,

Rucsandra Continue reading

365 DAYS OF GRATITUDE – DAY 83: Can’t Forgive Yourself? Shatter some taboos!

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It is easier to forgive someone else than to forgive yourself. Why do you think that is? I will tell you what I came to understand about this inability to forgive ourselves. Our upbringing and what our families, schools and society taught us from a very early age among other things is that we are supposed to have all the answers, to be better than others in order to succeed, to be on top of all things at all timer, to work really hard, to keep our mouths shut and to sacrifice ourselves for other people.

With what I know and understand now, I consider that about %90 percent of what we were taught about relationships, money, wars, sex, intuition, power, love, success, history, failure and life in general does not serve us at all. Shocking? Maybe, but think about it with an open mind. Were you taught with kindness, compassion, forgiveness and unconditional love or were you taught through discipline, through punishment and reward, through judgement and comparison with other kids? Take some time to think. This might be rough for you to look at, but please do. Give yourself the gift of honesty and clarity. Let me know if I can assist you with this. What I now know is that understanding the past through the lens of compassion and with an open heart allows us to grow emotionally, to become aware, to be authentic and access the joyful, non-suffering quality of life.

You might not agree with what I am saying, and that is OK. Do not agree, but allow yourself to look at things from different perspectives, to question everything and then decide for yourself. What I am doing is offer you another option, a different angle and sometimes maybe a breath of fresh air through a new view on things.

I don’t like taboos and believe that we must break free from them. Wikipedia says:

A taboo is a vehement prohibition of an action based on the belief that such behavior is either too sacred or too accursed for ordinary individuals to undertake, under threat of supernatural punishment. Such prohibitions are present in virtually all societies. The word has been somewhat expanded in the social sciences to strong prohibitions relating to any area of human activity or custom that is sacred or forbidden based on moral judgment and religious beliefs.  “Breaking a taboo” is usually considered objectionable by society in general, not merely a subset of a culture.

Let’s break some taboos right now by being willing to look at things that are hard to look at and that are not talked about.

Going back to how you were brought up, you now have a very strong belief in success and failure, right and wrong and you believe that the wrong doings must be punished; you believe that so strongly, that you are willing to punish yourself for years for something you did in your past. You think that you failed or you believe that you were wrong and you look at your past decisions with judgment and with no compassion. You want to punish yourself because you think you did something wrong and you are willing to continue punishing yourself for years and years.

I say that is ENOUGH! Haven’t you suffered enough? Haven’t you felt the pain of it all over and over? Let go, let go, let go. Break the taboos within yourself. You did the best you could at the time, with what you knew to be true at that time. How many more years are you going to make yourself suffer? Be willing to contemplate forgiveness. There’s more to come tomorrow, but for now, just contemplate the possibility of forgiveness.

Louise Hay says:

“Remember, we do not have to know how to forgive. All we have to do is be willing to forgive. The Universe will take care of the how. “

Love,

Rucsandra Continue reading

365 DAYS OF GRATITUDE – DAY 71: Everything is a Miracle

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Yesterday I shared with you a traumatic time in my life that held the opportunity to forgive and be grateful. Today I am inviting you to choose an event in your life that is still raw in your memory and to sit with it in silence, with no expectation. Just sit and be willing to contemplate the fact that underneath it all, there might be a great gift for you. In silence, the answer will come and you will be able to see so much more that you ever did before.

Stay open, stay aware; allow the good things to come to the surface. What have you learned from that situation? How have you transformed? What gifts have you received that you have not considered before now? Who helped you? What was removed from your life in order to be replaced with something better? Who believed in you?

Gratitude will clear away deeply embedded thoughts, feelings and beliefs that have been keeping you away from letting go, from moving on. Gratitude will allow your Inner Child to feel loved and supported; the power of your subconscious mind will work for you and with you, not against you anymore.

As you feel the grace of gratitude descend upon you, your life will begin to transform.

The great healing power of gratitude will allow you to go through the unresolved hurt and pain from the past; you will sit in silence until their gifts are revealed to you.

I will close with a great quote. Albert Einstein said:

“There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.”

Today I am inviting you to CHOOSE to live as though everything is a miracle!

Love,

Rucsandra Continue reading

365 DAYS OF GRATITUDE – DAY 70: Ioana’s Death

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On the third day of this gratitude journey, I wrote about my sister Ioana (read “Ewoana”; she would want you to pronounce her name correctly!) and her healing after a severe stroke left her paralyzed on the right side at the age of 31. Ioana was determined to heal and she did. She was witty, funny and sometimes outrageous.

The posts in my blog are all about gratitude and everything that I am grateful for. I truly believe that in every event or circumstance there is a golden truth that holds the gift of gratitude. This was indeed the case for me and my family four years ago.

Four years ago Ioana  was killed in a terrible motorcycle accident. She was 39. It was an extremely painful and trying time for me and my family; we struggled with the aftershock of this tragedy and for the first couple of weeks my life felt like a movie, unreal and with nothing to hold on to.

Ioana was the passenger and could not hold on when the man riding the motorcycle accelerated to 200 km per hour on the shoulder of the highway. She fell off the motorcycle and her body rolled into traffic. She was killed instantly. The man did not stop, he just continued on. Three weeks later he was arrested and eventually went to jail.

So you might now think: “So in this great tragedy, what was there for you to be grateful for?”.

During the weeks and months that followed, my family and I have known the hear-felt, continuous and compassionate support of friends, relatives and strangers. They out-poured their love, words of kindness and encouragement to us.

I was grateful for their love. I experienced great waves of healing energy generated by the people who came together with love to assist us.

The police officers and the investigators went beyond their job requirements to support and make it easier for us to go through the daily steps of the criminal investigation. Since my mother in Romania does not speak English, they went to the length of finding a Romanian speaking officer who could talk to my mother directly. They felt that she needed to talk to them herself and not only through me. This act of kindness helped my mother tremendously.

There were so many opportunities for gratitude. Gratitude made those first days easier.

A year later, I was present at the trial of the man who killed my sister. That is when I really understood the power of FORGIVENESS.  I realized that forgiveness is one of the greatest healing energies, a gift presented to me right then and there.

From deep inside myself I felt the power of true, unconditional forgiveness. To my awareness also came the fact that this very moment was one of my greatest forks in the road: I had the power to choose TOTAL FORGIVENESS right then and there or choose to remain angry, hurt and feeling like a victim.

In that courtroom, I was fully present in a heightened state of awareness. I was aware of the greatness of that very moment. I knew that it was my choice and my choice only. Life is truly made of what we choose to do with what we encounter.

I CHOSE FORGIVENESS, total and unconditional forgiveness.

I realized that out of the tragedy of my sister’s death my family and I had the opportunity to FORGIVE. We chose to forgive this man who is now serving a sentence for killing my sister.

My decision to forgive and my gratitude for this rare opportunity lifted the suffering veil and brought a new level of compassion and understanding.

My sister’s death taught me the power of love and support, taught me that people are truly kind AND that forgiveness is a choice. These are all true reasons to feel a deep sense of gratitude, even though they stemmed from such a tragedy.

Love,

Rucsandra Continue reading