In yesterday’s post I explained that expressing your anger is healthy. There is nothing wrong with getting angry; we all do it and it is a normal occurrence in our human lives.
Acknowledging your feelings and expressing them without feeling guilty about them and without blame is what allows you to move past them.
Bu what happens when you feel that you cannot let go of your anger?
HOW LONG do you intend to stay angry for?
Remember the 90 Second Rule? That is all the time that your body needs to feel, process and let go of anger. If you are still angry days, weeks, months or even years after the events causing your anger ended, you are doing so by choice.
Yes, you read it right: by choice. You are choosing to remain angry. Read about the 90 Second Rule again.
Anger stays alive when it is linked to blame. You are angry because you are blaming someone for your pain. You are caught in a vicious cycle and there are two options: you are angry with somebody else OR you are angry with yourself.
So which one is it? Somebody else or yourself?
Tune in, feel your anger and determine who are you really angry with.
Then come back tomorrow and let’s explore your findings.
There is nothing wrong with feeling anger. Since we are emotionally equipped for feeling it, it is meant to be part of our human existence. Anger puts us into motion, forces us to find answers and makes us take action. It is healthy to allow yourself to feel anger fully.
But here’s what I am inviting you to consider:
Do you acknowledge your anger when you feel it or do you just push it deep down and don’t express it?
How many times do you remember in your life when you felt angry but said nothing?
Are you the type of person who smiles and says ” Oh, it’s OK, I’m OK” when you are angry?
If your chosen response to anger is to bury it every time you feel it, sometimes you will explode. You will feel and act like the character in the image above. You will lose it completely, over something that seemingly has no importance.
You see, when anger is not acknowledged and expressed, it tends to build up inside you, take a life of its own and grow until it accumulates so much energy that it has to come out. That is when it comes out completely out of proportion and knocks you off your feet.
Give yourself permission to feel your anger. There might be a lot of it behind your patient smile. You are allowed to be angry, so let yourself feel it. If you stop hiding it and you look at it, feel it and express it the pressure build-up will start to diminish.
In time, as you learn to express your anger in a healthy way, you will not be triggered and there will be no explosions.