People react to the same day-to-day events and challenges in different ways; these events and challenges have different meanings and create different stress levels for different people.
Here’s an example: for one person, an unfair and moody boss is an absolute and substantial stressor, seeming to create a situation without solution. For another person, the same boss creates only a minor aggravation, as they plan to find a better working environment.
These are two completely different responses to the same stimulus. So what is then, the determining factor in how we respond to the events in our lives? The determining factor is THE LEVEL of emotional cleanliness. That’s right: the level of emotional cleanliness is what makes all the difference.
I will define tomorrow what I really mean by EMOTIONAL CLEANLINESS.
For now let’s just start creating an image for it: the image is a lens; one large, thick lens. See this lens with your mind’s eye. The purpose of a lens, as you know, is to magnify the objects we are looking at. In order for us to see clearly the objects behind it, the lens must be clean.
When you feel strong, supported, loved and encouraged by yourself and others, your lens cleanses itself.
When you feel pain, shame, guilt, when you feel unsupported and unloved by yourself and others your lens becomes milky and opaque, as if dust has settled on it. The more negative feelings you have and hang on to throughout your life, the more dust your lens gathers.
Keep the lens image in your mind and let’s move to the next topic. Every cell in the body recognizes what you feel and immediately translates your feelings into physical responses. If this is a concept harder to relate to, just think of something that you are afraid of and see how your body responds. If you are afraid of an illness… just allow that fear to surface for a moment. If you are afraid of losing your job or ending an important relationship in your life, just feel that fear… allow it to come to the surface and stay in that feeling for a second.
Do not worry: this exercise will not create more stress. You are just allowing something that is already there to come to the surface.
Now scan your body quickly. Are your shoulders raised and tense, are you frowning? Is there a knot in your stomach or is the pain in your lower back increasing? Is your mouth dry? How much tension are you feeling?
The physical response was instant, wasn’t it?
Here’s another situation: think of something you did at some point in your past that you were, or maybe still are, ashamed of. If you haven’t processed that shame yet, you will feel it all over again, right now: flushed cheeks, sweaty palms and a knot in your stomach. Right? Can you feel that? Feeling ashamed makes your body perspire. What this means is that every cell in your body responds to your feeling ashamed. I will repeat that, because this is very important for you to understand: EVERY CELL IN YOUR BODY RESPONDS TO YOUR FEELING OF SHAME.
On Day 37 of this blog I wrote about the fact that your emotional lens was pre-conditioned even before your birth by your mother’s fears, because YOUR CELLS were FEELING everything that your mother’s cells felt as a result of her emotional state. So go back to Day 37 and read that post again.
I am excited about sharing all this with you! Once I understood the importance of the emotional lens, I was determined to keep mine sparkling clean. And you will too!