DAY 257: When Anger Stops Being Healthy…

angry

In yesterday’s post I explained that expressing your anger is healthy. There is nothing wrong with getting angry; we all do it and it is a normal occurrence in our human lives.

Acknowledging your feelings and expressing them without feeling guilty about them and without blame is what allows you to move past them.

Bu what happens when you feel that  you cannot let go of your anger?

HOW LONG do you intend to stay angry for?

Remember the 90 Second Rule? That is all the time that your body needs to feel, process and let go of anger. If you are still angry days, weeks, months or even years after the events causing your anger ended, you are doing so by choice.

Yes, you read it right: by choice. You are choosing to remain angry. Read about the 90 Second Rule again.

Anger stays alive when it is linked to blame. You are angry because you are blaming someone for your pain. You are caught in a vicious cycle and there are two options: you are angry with somebody else OR you are angry with yourself.

So which one is it? Somebody else or yourself?

Tune in, feel your anger and determine who are you really angry with.

Then come back tomorrow and let’s explore your findings.

Love,

Rucsandra

365 DAYS OF GRATITUDE – DAY 120: Your Energetic Body

RUCSANDRA's PICTURE

Your body emits an electromagnetic field. This is not news anymore. Measurable and distinct, this electromagnetic field has different readings when your body experiences disease, injuries or illness.

This is an excerpt from www.pemfglobal.com.

“An electromagnetic field is a physical field produced by electrically charged objects. Many things including the earth, our bodies and electronics emit these fields. Their interaction is called electromagnetism.

Like our planet, all natural things emit electromagnetic fields. When the fields produced by our bodies interact with the earth’s field we have more vitality or find that our pains no longer ail us. 

Man-made electromagnetic fields from cellphone towers, wi-fi and other electronic devices operate at higher levels and can make us feel lethargic or worse, develop chronic health issues.

PEMF therapy balances your electromagnetic field by transmitting pulsed electromagnetic frequencies tuned to the earth that counteract the negative fields caused by our environment, leaving you feeling alive and well.”

PEMF Therapy is a powerful and extremely effective method that will aid your healing efforts. There are many testimonials on www.pemfglobal.com, so if you are researching ways to heal your body, take the time to read some of them. Recently, Health Canada certified this PEMF device as a medical device.

I have been using this amazing technology for myself and with my clients for six years, with great results. I am thrilled to be part of a remarkable company (Swissbionic Solutions) whose goal is to change the world of healthcare.

If you want to know how this technology can help you, contact me. If you have questions and would like more information about PEMF devices, send me an email info@mitreawellness.com.

Love,

Rucsandra,

365 DAYS OF GRATITUDE – DAY 119: Your Emotional Body

RUCSANDRA's PICTURE

Think of your emotional body as an aspect or a level of who you are. Your capacity to have an extraordinary array of feelings is deeply embedded in who you are as a human being. We all have this capacity, whether we acknowledging its existence and power or not. We are equipped to feel the most subtle variations of joy and anger, pain and love, hope and despair. It is part of who we are. Also part of our makeup is the capacity to process our feelings, to allow them to run their course and to release them. I wrote about Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor’s 90 Second Rule in my post on Day 9. She determined that it takes only 90 seconds to have an emotional circuit triggered, ignite the physiological response through the body and then flush it completely out of the system. The emotional body is intelligent and efficient.

The most remarkable link between your physical body and your emotional body lies in this very capacity to process at the physical level every single feeling that you have and to fully release it. This is also the greatest weakness, because if you continue to hold on to past feelings of anger, shame, pain, guilt or any other diminishing feelings, your physical body will eventually be put as risk. The physical body cannot become the long-term container for such feelings because it is not equipped for it.

Are there any feelings that diminish your vitality and your life force? Are you holding on to anger, shame, blame, feeling like a victim, hate, guilt or any other feeling as such?

Are you ready to move on and create a healthy, vibrant, joyous life for yourself? Write down the past hurts and unresolved pains, let them pour out of your system and onto the paper. That is the first, most powerful step that you can take: bringing these feelings out in the open. You can only clear and release feelings that you  you are willing to admit you have.

Write them down and the paper will take away some of the heaviness that you feel.

Put this list together with the list you created yesterday.

Breathe.

These are your first few steps to change your body and your life.

Love,

Rucsandra,

365 DAYS OF GRATITUDE – DAY 60: Emotional Cleansing Part 8 – Feeling-based Awareness

RUCSANDRA's PICTURE

Feeling-based awareness is the ability to know what it is that you are feeling, independent of the situation you are in and the person you are talking to; it is also the ability to identify and name your feelings (anger, happiness, frustration, hesitation, fear, love, loneliness, fearlessness, shyness, patience, impatience).

Feeling-based awareness is necessary in order to be in touch with yourself. It is not another person, the circumstances you are in or the world at large that create your world, it is YOU. By gaining full and unobstructed access to yourself, you will be able to create your life the way YOU want it to be.

In order to become feeling-based aware you can start by paying attention to what it is that you feeling in this moment. Through the feeling-based awareness you create a deeper and stronger connection to YOURSELF.

You probably already know and use some of these on a daily basis, but here’s a list of 7 different practices to help you become feeling-based aware:

  1. BREATHE DEEPLY when you feel a powerful emotion; make it a habit to focus on your breath.
  2. DECIDE NOT TO REACT to what you feel in the moment, when you are triggered. Observe what you feel and be curious about this whole process.
  3. PRACTICE NON-JUDGMENT towards what you feel, without discrimination. Feel what you feel and allow it to be. No judgment.
  4. Stop several times throughout the day to examine how you feel and what thought created the current feeling. Not what circumstance, event or person, but WHAT THOUGHT CREATED THAT SPECIFIC FEELING.
  5. Start practicing the 90-SECOND RULE. Do not get frustrated; just become aware of what makes it hard for you to fully apply it to your current circumstance or situation.
  6. MAINTAIN A LIGHT AND SOFT APPROACH towards this process, as you are learning to connect with yourself at a deeper level than ever before.
  7. ALLOW YOURSELF TO FEEL. Whether it is a new feeling or a deeply buried one, if it comes to the surface, allow it and look at it with curiosity and patience.

Love,

Rucsandra

 

365 DAYS OF GRATITUDE – DAY 59: Emotional Cleansing Part 7 – Definition

RUCSANDRA's PICTURE

Not being able to let go of past hurt and emotional pain is not your essence, is not in your true nature. It is something that you learned through fear. As you now know, after reading my “Beyond Fear” series of posts, you were taught to fear almost everything around you. Every single event in your life caused you to have an emotional response that influenced the quality of your EMOTIONAL LENS.

Every time you felt loved, cherished, supported and encouraged your emotional lens became clearer, more focused and created a sharper, cleaner image of everything you looked at.

Every time you felt lonely, unloved, unsupported or mistreated your lens accumulated more dust and became more opaque, less transparent and created more distortion. That is, UNLESS you went beyond the circumstances and events that caused you to feel the negative emotions and CLEARED AWAY THE EMOTIONAL RESIDUES LEFT BEHIND.

Most people do not know A VERY IMPORTANT PHYSIOLOGICAL TRUTH: once a feeling is triggered and felt, the physical body lets go of it in a matter of seconds. From a cellular and chemical perspective, you are done with it in less than 2 minutes. I wrote about this important fact on Day 9 : The 90 Second Rule.

The reason why emotions end up as emotional debris, created 5 or 10 or 30 years ago, is the fact that you chose to keep thinking thoughts that recreate that very same emotions over and over again. Yes, it is a choice. I know that this might be hard to hear (or read), but this is the absolute truth. It is YOUR CHOICE to let go, or go back in the loop and recreate with your thoughts the same chemical response that created the emotion in the first place. I found this fact to be truly powerful and life changing: IN LESS THAN 2 MINUTES THE BODY IS READY TO RELEASE A FEELING, ANY FEELING, and ANY EMOTIONAL RESPONSE.

And now, here is my definition of emotional cleanliness:

“EMOTIONAL CLEANLINESS can be defined as the capacity to see, hear and feel events, circumstances and other people’s words and actions, and to respond to these stimuli from a vantage point of love and inner power, unhindered, unconditioned and unlimited by the layers of past and present un-released emotional debris.”

This says it all.

Love,

Rucsandra

 

365 DAYS OF GRATITUDE – DAY 49: Letting Go Of Anger

RUCSANDRA's PICTURE

Here’s another big thing that  I am very grateful for: I have learned that anger only hurts me. My being angry does not solve anything, but it can definitely poison my days and my nights. So I made a decision a long time ago to not spend any time on being angry; that is to not spend anymore time than the 90 seconds required for the anger to flush through my system. I wrote about the 90 second rule in my post on Day 9 .

I often talk to my clients about the healing power of letting go of anger. In one of my programs about emotional cleansing, I was asked the following question:

“Other people have really hurt me, how do I release this anger? How do I let it go? I am angry and I am hurting.”

Do you feel like this too? Are you angry because of something that someone else did? Ok, let’s talk about this. And when I am done answering this question, I will share with you one of the most powerful moments of my life. I will share with you the gift of my sister’s death.

Anger is what is left behind after circumstances, events and encounters that have not been easy for you and during which you felt that you were being hurt.

I want to tell you that there is nothing wrong with feeling anger. Since we are emotionally equipped for feeling it, it is meant to be part of our human existence. Anger puts us into motion, forces us to find answers and makes us take action. It is healthy to allow yourself to feel anger fully.

The important point is: HOW LONG are you going to stay angry for?

Remember the 90 Second Rule? That is all the time that your body needs to feel, process and let go of anger. If you are still angry days, weeks, months or even years after it all ended, you are doing so by choice.

Now, I need to stop here for a second, so that you can read the last sentence again.

Even though you might be feeling your anger rising right now at the very concept of your choosing your anger, think about it this way: anger is linked to blame. You are angry because you are blaming someone for your pain. You are caught in a vicious cycle of blame, in a burning ring of anger.

There are two options:

1. You are angry with SOMEBODY ELSE for something they did or did not do
2. You are angry with YOURSELF for something you did or did not do

I will explain these two options in my next post, so stay with me. This is important.

Love,

Rucsandra

 

365 DAYS OF GRATITUDE – DAY 3: Ioana’s Journey

RUCSANDRA's PICTURE

The energy healer said:  “When we worry about someone, we are energetically telling them that we do not trust them to be OK by themselves, and so we must worry for them, because we do not feel that they are capable of overcoming their own challenges. When we worry about someone, we are energetically weakening them and diminishing their life force.” WOW! I definitely did not want to weaken Ioana’s strength, so I had to let go of my worry, work through my own fears and heal my own pain. Today’s gratitude story is about Ioana’s healing journey after having a stroke.

Twelve years ago, my sister Ioana (read “Ewoana”; she would want you to pronounce her name correctly!) moved from Cyprus to Toronto a couple of months after a massive stroke that left her right arm and leg almost paralyzed and her capacity to speak both Romanian and English impaired. She was 31 years old, moving to a new country, with her body disabled and her heart broken.

I was happy to share my home with her, but I was scared down to my bones about her having another stroke, about her not getting better, about her going deeper into depression. At the time I had no idea that depression is a common aftermath for a stroke survivor. I was afraid to go out and leave Ioana at home by herself, because I was worried that she would have another stroke while being alone. One of the things that I had struggled with the most was the fact that at the time of her stroke, in Cyprus, she was alone at home; three full days and nights passed before she was finally found, clinging somewhere between life and death. But she was young, fit, stubborn and strong and did not die; instead, she moved to Canada and started a new life.

Her determination and strength drove her on and on, and she got physically better, month after month after month. Her emotional journey however proved to be more difficult; for both of us. I was not equipped to help her. I struggled and got angry and frustrated and continued to live with the fear that she might have another stroke; this thought worried me the most…. actually it terrified me and stole my sleep. I wanted so much to help her; so I took her to a naturopath, an osteopath, a massage therapist; I cooked healthy food for her, monitored her eating and her water intake. I was determined to watch over her and make sure that she was OK. My efforts were not welcomed though and Ioana became resistant and angry with me.

I was exhausted, felt frustrated and decided to ask for help, so that I could better understand what was happening. I went to see a naturopath and then connected with the energy healer. The naturopath told me this – I remember her words very clearly –  “You have taken her journey upon yourself, you see… and you cannot do that. You must respect her journey and allow her to go through her own pain, mourning and follow her healing process. But you MUST remember that this is HER journey, not yours. If you make this important distinction, your fear will subside and you will become fully present. This is how you help your sister: by being her witness and staying present within yourself.” Her words shook me and I felt like I woke up from a deep sleep. I understood what she was saying. She was saying to trust Ioana to overcome her challenges, to witness her progress and to help her when I was asked. I changed my approach completely, because I now knew that the only way to truly help my sister was for me to let go of my own fear.  Within a few weeks our communication improved, we were both more relaxed, and I was able to see the progress she was making by herself. Ioana was going to be ok. Over the next couple of years, she recovered completely. If you just met her, you would not even notice the slight limp and the way she moved her right hand. She did it all by herself, with her strong body, her determination and her life force. My worries and fears had no foundation.

I am grateful that Ioana shared her healing journey with me. Through it, I learned that the best way to stand by someone when they are facing a challenge is to TRUST that they have what it takes to overcome it. We all have what it takes. Always!

Thank you, Ioana.

A few years later I read Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor‘s book “My Stroke of Insight” and better understood what Ioana tapped into in order to heal her body. Brain researcher Jill Bolte Taylor studied her own stroke as it happened – and has become a powerful voice for brain recovery. Watch her on TED Talks.