DAY 261: Clear Negative Emotions In Less Than 2 Minutes

Struggling with stubborn negative emotions? Here’s a process that works, and it works fast. The more you do it, the more you can clear and the freer you will be.

Last night I had the great pleasure of attending Dr. Yvonne Oswald’s lecture on hypnosis and the power of the subconscious mind. I was impressed with the efficiency and lightness of her clearing processes. I look forward to learning more.

Yvonne Oswald PhD, award winning, best-selling author of Every Word Has Power, now in eleven languages, is at the leading edge of the new development field of Human Behavioral Technology. She is a renowned and respected International Keynote Speaker, Communications Trainer, Master Trainer of NLP, and Master Trainer of Hypnosis. U.S. National Awards include; Most Unique Contribution to the Field of Clinical Hypnosis 2012 for her work with changing negative self-talk; and a Visionary Award nomination for Mind Magic, for pioneering the process of clearing a negative emotion in less than a minute. Yvonne has an outstanding reputation for her exciting, innovative, fun, and interactive seminars for both public and private sectors.

Watch the video and practice releasing negative emotions with Dr. Oswald.

Isn’t it time you got rid of them?

Love,

Rucsandra

DAY 259: Forgive Yourself For Not Being Perfect

angry with yourself

For every situation that you are still angry about, YOU AND ONLY YOU are responsible for letting go.

But what happens when you are angry with yourself?

People say that this type of anger is even harder to let go of.

Is it, really?

Let me get into this a little: you are angry with yourself for something you did or for something you did not do, but the truth is that you have the choice to forgive yourself and move on.

Of course, you can choose to continue to be angry, but this will also continue to poison your body and your mind.

Is this what you really want?

What is done is done.

In an article entitled “Forgiveness“, Louise Hay says:

“The reality of true forgiveness lies in setting yourself free from the pain. It’s simply an act of releasing yourself from the negative energy that you’ve chosen to hold on to. […] No matter what your reasons are for having bitter, unforgiving feelings, you can go beyond them. You have a choice. You can choose to stay stuck and resentful, or you can do yourself a favor by willingly forgiving what happened in the past; letting it go; and then moving on to create a joyous, fulfilling life. You have the freedom to make your life anything you want it to be because you have freedom of choice.”

And here’s a forgiveness affirmation from Louise Hay:

I FORGIVE MYSELF FOR NOT BEING PERFECT. I AM LIVING THE VERY BEST WAY I KNOW HOW.

Love,

Rucsandra

DAY 258: Let Go Of The Hot Coals Of Anger

hot coals

YOU are the sole creator of your life. Nobody else has the power to create YOUR life, but you. Not your parents, not your spouse/partner, not your job, not your bank account, not your friends or relatives; you are the one creating your experience.

Since you are the only person capable of shaping YOUR life, why are you REALLY angry with somebody else? You expected them to please you or at least meet you half way and when they did not comply, you felt hurt.

You had expectations of them and you got angry when THEY could not live up to YOUR expectation of what they were supposed to do.

Probably you did not have a choice in shaping your experiences as you grew up, as most children do not, but YOU DO have a choice now to let go of anger.

Your holding on to anger only hurts you. You are the one suffering.

Let go.

Buddha said:

“Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.”

Love,

Rucsandra

DAY 257: When Anger Stops Being Healthy…

angry

In yesterday’s post I explained that expressing your anger is healthy. There is nothing wrong with getting angry; we all do it and it is a normal occurrence in our human lives.

Acknowledging your feelings and expressing them without feeling guilty about them and without blame is what allows you to move past them.

Bu what happens when you feel that  you cannot let go of your anger?

HOW LONG do you intend to stay angry for?

Remember the 90 Second Rule? That is all the time that your body needs to feel, process and let go of anger. If you are still angry days, weeks, months or even years after the events causing your anger ended, you are doing so by choice.

Yes, you read it right: by choice. You are choosing to remain angry. Read about the 90 Second Rule again.

Anger stays alive when it is linked to blame. You are angry because you are blaming someone for your pain. You are caught in a vicious cycle and there are two options: you are angry with somebody else OR you are angry with yourself.

So which one is it? Somebody else or yourself?

Tune in, feel your anger and determine who are you really angry with.

Then come back tomorrow and let’s explore your findings.

Love,

Rucsandra

DAY 256: Exploding With Anger?


Exploding

There is nothing wrong with feeling anger. Since we are emotionally equipped for feeling it, it is meant to be part of our human existence. Anger puts us into motion, forces us to find answers and makes us take action. It is healthy to allow yourself to feel anger fully.

But here’s what I am inviting you to consider:

  1. Do you acknowledge your anger when you feel it or do you just push it deep down and don’t express it?
  2. How many times do you remember in your life when you felt angry but said nothing?
  3. Are you the type of person who smiles and says ” Oh, it’s OK, I’m OK” when you are angry?

If your chosen response to anger is to bury it every time you feel it, sometimes you will explode. You will feel and act like the character in the image above. You will lose it completely, over something that seemingly has no importance.

You see, when anger is not acknowledged and expressed, it tends to build up inside you, take a life of its own and grow until it accumulates so much energy that it has to come out. That is when it comes out completely out of proportion and knocks you off your feet.

Give yourself permission to feel your anger. There might be a lot of it behind your patient smile. You are allowed to be angry, so let yourself feel it. If you stop hiding it and you look at it, feel it and express it the pressure build-up will start to diminish.

In time, as you learn to express your anger in a healthy way, you will not be triggered and there will be no explosions.

Love,

Rucsandra

365 DAYS OF GRATITUDE – DAY 223: Feeling Like A Pressure Cooker?

pressure cooker

What happens when a closed pressure cooker is heated on the stove? Simple: there is  a lot of pressure created inside the hermetically closed pot.

If you try to open it when hot, you will get burned and the stuff inside will splatter all over your kitchen.

A hot pressure cooker: this is how people who cannot express emotions, who do not communicate how they feel and what they want, get to feel on a daily basis. They are ready to explode and sometimes they do in violent, inappropriate ways, angry with random people or unrelated events.

Did you ever feel like that? Did you ever lash out at the person in front of you only to be left exhausted, confused and drained once it was all over?

If you did, then there are things inside you that you are keeping hidden even from yourself. Until you get in touch with them and heal your hurt and anger, you will continue to function like a pressure cooker.

And here’s the thing: the building pressure of the burning hot steam will hurt you physically, emotionally and mentally.

Take the pot off the stove, let it cool off completely and then open the lid, willing to look inside.

Examine what you find with compassion and love for yourself.

Let go. Heal. Don’t let the steam burn you.

Love,

Rucsandra

365 DAYS OF GRATITUDE – DAY 171: How Do You Handle Your Suffering?

RUCSANDRA's PICTURE

Let’s face it, every single one of us has known multiple and various degrees of suffering.

Our world – it seems – is built on suffering: relying on suffering, advertising and selling suffering, worshiping suffering, constantly talking about suffering and generating it all around, day after day, for all living creatures, small and large.

Whether you suffered at the hands of the family you were born in or the society you are part of, or of a lover, a child or a friend, you know what suffering is.

Whether we suffered physically, emotionally, mentally or spiritually you and I can describe our suffering  and its intensity with great accuracy.

But here’s my question: what do you do WITH it?

Do you allow it to become anger?

Do you bury it and fall into despair?

Do you allow it to annihilate and eat you alive?

Do you pour it into someone else’s ears over and over again?

Do you feed off it?

Or do you allow it to come to the surface and feel it so fully and with so much awareness that it starts to crumble and lose its power?

If you allow it and acknowledge its presence, you become stronger and your suffering starts to dissipate.

Don’t run away from it. If you are suffering it means that you feel hurt; running away won’t do.

Accepting that you are feeling pain and allowing your feelings to be expressed fully will help you heal.

Stop running.

Face it.

Accept it.

Breathe and sit with it.

You are stronger than your suffering.

Love,

Rucsandra

365 DAYS OF GRATITUDE – DAY 169: Can You Let Go?

RUCSANDRA's PICTURE

In this very moment, can you?

Can you let go of your worrying thoughts?

Can you let go of the need to control an outcome?

Can you let go of someone who is trying to control you?

Can you let go of fear?

Can you let go of feeling small?

Can you let go of the need to be right?

Can you let go of the desire to be better than others?

Can you let go of diminishing thoughts?

Can you let go of anger?

Can you?

I know YOU CAN.

But do YOU?

Love,

Rucsandra

365 DAYS OF GRATITUDE – DAY 166: Anger Eclipses The Mind’s Rationality

RUCSANDRA's PICTURE

I struggled with anger at certain times in my life. Every single time, once the anger was gone, I was left depleted, spent and physically weak.

So I understood in my bones, so to speak, that anger is a destructive force that eats us from the inside out and made a pact with myself to not allow anger to eat away my life force and well-being.

I can still get angry, but I do not stay angry; instead I turn inside, become still and aware and allow anger to wash over me and dissipate.

Anger does not serve me, so I choose to let it go.

From the same article I quoted from yesterday, comes another nugget of clarity and wisdom.

“We should begin by removing the greatest hindrances to compassion: anger and hatred. As we all know, these are extremely powerful emotions and they can overwhelm our entire mind. Nevertheless, they can be controlled. If, however, they are not, these negative emotions will plague us – with no extra effort on their part! – and impede our quest for the happiness of a loving mind.
 
So as a start, it is useful to investigate whether or not anger is of value. Sometimes, when we are discouraged by a difficult situation, anger does seem helpful, appearing to bring with it more energy, confidence and determination.
 
Here, though, we must examine our mental state carefully. While it is true that anger brings extra energy, if we explore the nature of this energy, we discover that it is blind: we cannot be sure whether its result will be positive or negative. This is because anger eclipses the best part of our brain: its rationality. So the energy of anger is almost always unreliable. It can cause an immense amount of destructive, unfortunate behavior. Moreover, if anger increases to the extreme, one becomes like a mad person, acting in ways that are as damaging to oneself as they are to others.
 
It is possible, however, to develop an equally forceful but far more controlled energy with which to handle difficult situations.
 
This controlled energy comes not only from a compassionate attitude, but also from reason and patience. These are the most powerful antidotes to anger. Unfortunately, many people misjudge these qualities as signs of weakness. I believe the opposite to be true: that they are the true signs of inner strength. Compassion is by nature gentle, peaceful and soft, but it is very powerful. It is those who easily lose their patience who are insecure and unstable. Thus, to me, the arousal of anger is a direct sign of weakness.”  – excerpt from Compassion and the Individual by Tenzin Gyatso, The Fourteenth Dalai Lama.

Love,

Rucsandra

365 DAYS OF GRATITUDE – DAY 85: Authenticity

RUCSANDRA's PICTURE

“Authenticity is a collection of choices that we have to make every day. It’s about the choice to show up and be real. The choice to be honest. The choice to let our true selves be seen.” Brené Brown, The Gifts of Imperfection

Show up and be real! I strive to do that everyday, and if I start to feel uncomfortable in my own skin, it means that I am not showing up fully as myself. This awareness is a gift, because it allows me to realign, re-calibrate and return to who I truly am; it allows me to stay real.

Authenticity means undisputed credibility; it means to be true to one’s personality, spirit, or character; genuine, real; not false or copied.

Being authentic implies that you honor yourself. Being authentic means you stand by yourself in all your choices, words, actions and mistakes. Living authentically is not always easy, as it requires you to pay attention to your words and your actions; to continuously stay in touch with your feelings and ask yourself the questions that you would rather not ask.

The inner fight between your heart and the reality you are creating for yourself, between what you truly desire and what you are allowing as part of your life can tear you apart in more ways than one.

“Authenticity is the alignment of head, mouth, heart, and feet – thinking, saying, feeling, and doing the same thing – consistently. ”  – Dr. Lance Secretan

Here’s my invitation to you:

  • Write down two aspects in your life in which you are ALREADY authentic: a little one that you might think is not that important and a bigger one that you are proud of.
  • Then write down two aspects in your life in which you believe yo are not YET authentic: one small, that you can change right away and one bigger, that you do not know what to do about.

How’s that sound? A little scary? Great! Do it anyway. Your authenticity is worth it.

Love,

Rucsandra