The way you respond to other people’s actions, to events and circumstances, to challenges you come across and life in general is determined by your underlying emotional state. Your emotional state is in turn defined by the total sum of everything you’ve experienced in your life but not fully processed up to this point.
If we are to think in this paradigm, then you have to wonder what part of your actions is truly conscious and what part is just a reaction.
What I know for sure is this: unless you allow your emotions to come to the surface and be examined and then fully released, you will continue to react to outside stimuli in ways that you might not understand.
Here’s my invitation to you: express your emotions fully; allow yourself to feel, to have an emotional opinion. All you need to do is acknowledge your emotions, sit with them, allow them to be. As you do so, they will clear, dissipate and you will feel free.