The question is not how much you love someone.
The real question is HOW do you love them?
And I am not only talking about romantic love, but about the love you have for your children, parents, siblings and friends.
Possessive love is about your unsatisfied need for attention; if you love possessively, you take from the other person, rather than give.
Jealous love is about your feeling undeserving, small and insecure; you are afraid you will lose the person you love when someone better than you comes along.
Controlling love is attempting to over-ride or take away the other person’s choice. You want them to behave the way you want them to and disregard what they want and how they feel.
Desperate love is about giving away your power. Your belief that you cannot live without the other person gives your power away, and in the same time puts a great weight load on the other.
Doesn’t really sound like love, does it?
Zen Master Thich Nhat Hanh said:
“You must love in such a way, that the other person feels free.”
Reading this made me stop with a gasp: do I love in such a way that the people I love feel free?