365 DAYS OF GRATITUDE – DAY 146: The Truth About Helping People


I’ve been working in the fitness/health/well-being industry for 25 years. Throughout this time I taught many clients that there is always an answer to any physical problem they might have. There is always a solution and there is always someone who can help them. If that person is not me, then I refer my clients to other health practitioners, trainers and coaches.

I truly believe that there is always a solution.

But here’s something of value that I learned many years ago: you can only be of assistance to people who meet you half way. You can only help people who are willing to put in the time and work to help themselves.

I read this on Facebook a few days ago:

“Unfortunately, you can’t help people who won’t participate in their own rescue.”

It is absolutely true.

Is there anyone in your life who you have been trying to help? Someone you care about, who is struggling and for whom you are ready to put in your time, your money, your knowledge and experience to help them?

Ask yourself this first: are they willing to help themselves? Because if they are not, your help will fall flat on its face and you will become very frustrated.

Until they are ready to change and involve themselves in their own rescue, there is nothing you can do, except lead by example. When they are ready, they might ask for your help. Then you can truly help them, but not before. So, let them be. Live your own life in authentic ways and be mindful of investing your efforts in someone else’s life.

By doing so, you honor yourself and you also honor them and where they are at in the present moment.



365 DAYS OF GRATITUDE – DAY 145: Struggling To Be Happy?


Now that you know what are some of the things that can stand in the way of creating the life you desire, I have a few questions for you:

What is happiness for you? Do you know what makes you happy? How do you define your place of happiness?

For the last 8 days I wrote about things that hinder your efforts to achieve your dream life. And now I ask you:

How does your dream life look? Can you describe it? What will make you happy?

Think about it and see what the answers are. These questions are important. Are you happy now? Or will you be happy once you find the right person? Will you be happy once you have a new job, a new house, a new spouse, a new child, more money or more free time? Will you be happy once you shed a few pounds or get back into the gym? Will you be happy once someone in your life changes their behavior?

You see, none of these things above will make you happy. In fact, they will make you more miserable, because once you get them, you will realize that you are still not happy. Why? Because your happiness does not reside outside you and it does not depend on external events and other people.

You will experience happiness when you live your life with authenticity and integrity. When what you say and do every day resonate and are in alignment with what  you feel and think, that is when you will feel in balance and harmony with yourself.

So from this different perspective – integrity and authenticity – ask yourself:

“What do I need to shift inside myself and in my life so that I can experience happiness? What will create a more authentic life for me?”

I want you to be happy, truly happy!



365 DAYS OF GRATITUDE – DAY 144: Celebrate Your Success!


This is big! Truly big.

Think about your accomplishments and successes, about goals reached and dreams come true. Did you celebrate them? Did you share them with your loved one? Did you make a big deal out of them?

I have to share with you that I had to reach really deep inside and make a profound change in my inner guidance system in order to be able to celebrate each and every accomplishment. I remember a time where every exam passed or every goal reached made me feel like I was not accomplishing enough and sent me on a “I’m not good enough trip”; granted, I always added “yet” at the end of it, so I felt like I was not good enough “yet”.

But you see, this way of thinking and feeling minimized my success and diminished my energy. This is the exact way of thinking that puts one on a spinning wheel of working and working, without rest and without joy.

Celebrating and being proud of your accomplishments will lift you up and increase your energy and self esteem. It will inspire you to be more yourself and do more, enjoy more, create more and love more!

So celebrate, celebrate, CELEBRATE!

I am celebrating with you.



365 DAYS OF GRATITUDE – DAY 143: You Need Support!


So you are ready to take the steps that will create the life you desire. You now know what direction you want to go into and you have an initial plan ready to be followed (read my yesterday’s blog about making a plan).

Many people fail to reach their desired destination and live their dream, because they lose focus and concentration along the way and then lose faith. This happens often and it is a normal occurrence when one decides to reach for a great goal.

If you ever feel like giving up, just know that it happens to everybody. I certainly felt like that many times, but did not give up because I had the support I needed to be able to continue on my journey, even when I felt weaker.

Do you have the support you need in order to make the changes you want to make?

Asking for help does not mean that you are weak, but rather that you are determined to achieve what you want and if somebody can help you with staying on your path, then you will get their help. Getting the support you need will keep you going when you feel like stopping and will give you strength.

You are not meant to live in a vacuum and reinvent the wheel. Make use of the wisdom and knowledge gathered by others who went through the same process before you.

What kind of support do you think you need in order to achieve your goals? What area do you feel you need help with?

Define what you need and then ask for it.

If you need a mentor or a coach, start looking for one. If you need a good talk with a supportive friend, make the call and schedule to see them.

You need support.

We all do.



365 DAYS OF GRATITUDE – DAY 142: Can’t Seem To Get Unstuck?

RUCSANDRA's PICTUREAnother thing that can and will stand between where you are right now and where you desire to be is the lack of clarity and specific goals. Nothing can be achieved if you don’t sit down and decide to make a plan first.

Many years back, before I understood the importance of a plan, I remember being quite unhappy with a situation or another, but that is all that I did: felt unhappy. I wanted things to change, but my focus was on how things were not working. Since my focus was on what was not working, I kept creating more of what I focused on.

Things started to change the moment I actually managed to create a mental image of what I actually wanted to happen. Once I had that clear image, I started to think about the actions that I needed to take in order to move closer and closer to my goal. Once I defined a few steps I started to do what I needed to do and things started to change and become more of what I wanted.

Is seems simple and a complete no-brainer, right?

It is.

Once you know what you want, you start focusing on it. You move your attention away from what you do not want and direct your energy towards what you want. You initially create a plan by simply envisioning the end result. Once you have the end result in mind, it is easier to define the step by step actions that will take you there.

What area of your life is stagnant and not what you really want?

Do you know WHAT is it that you truly want?

If you do, then make a plan. It does not have to be complete and perfect. It needs to have the first few actions, so that you can start taking the first few steps. You can define the following steps and refine your plan as you go, but for now just start somewhere. Starting to move, even if you feel uncertain, is better than staying still and stuck. Clarity comes from action.

If you know what you do NOT want, but are not sure what you DO want instead, first define what it is that you want. Once you have that picture, you can put together a plan. You cannot create a plan that leads nowhere. You need to know the goal first.

Here are the steps to follow:

  1. Decide what is not working
  2. Decide what you want instead
  3. Be as precise as you can about what you want
  4. Take a piece of paper and write down 10 actions that, done sequentially, will take you there
  5. Start moving with the first action
  6. If it is too big, then break the first action down into smaller potions that can be done with ease
  7. Do not stop until you get to where you want to be
  8. Get help if you are not sure how to do certain things

Simple and doable, right?

Now go do it!



365 DAYS OF GRATITUDE – DAY 141: There Is No Such Thing As Just Clutter!


As I continue with the topics in my post entitled What Stands Between You And The Life You Want?, today I’ll write about clutter.

I’ve written in detail about clutter before, in the posts on Day 79 and Day 80; I’ve also given you a very simple, easy to follow and stress free method to get rid of it.

Since there can be only that much sitting and talking about it, all I want to share with you today is a new point of view with respect to clutter: THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS JUST CLUTTER!

Your environment is an extension of you; it can lift you up or create stress in your life.

Here’s a word from Peter Walsh, who is a professional organizer and an expert in organizational design:

“Clutter isn’t just the stuff in your closet. It’s everything that gets between you and the life you want to be living.”

How does this feel?

Don’t you feel like you need to start clearing, de-cluttering and organizing right now?

I started yesterday. I do this a few times a year and every single time it I am truly grateful when I am done: clearer and more relaxed, I am ready for the next stage with a clutter free home and a clutter free office.

Come on, join me!



365 DAYS OF GRATITUDE – DAY 140: Stop Believing Your Limiting Beliefs


I am following up on my post entitled What Stands Between You And The Life You Want?Yesterday I wrote about unresolved emotional issues. Today I want to talk to you about limiting beliefs, such as “I am powerless”, “I am not good enough”, “I do not deserve it”, ” I am helpless”, “I can’t”, “Others are to blame for this, not me”, “Money is hard to come around”, “I am not lovable”, etc.

Tony Robbins explains:

“What is a belief? It’s a feeling of certainty about what something means. The challenge is that most of our beliefs are generalizations about our past, based on our interpretations of painful and pleasurable experiences.”

Your positive beliefs help you create what you desire. Your limiting, negative beliefs block the way to the life you want to create for yourself. If you want to achieve your goals and reach your dreams, you must break free from your limiting beliefs.

So, as Tony Robbins says, start to question your beliefs:

“All personal breakthroughs begin with a change in beliefs. The moment we begin to honestly question our beliefs and the experiences we assign to them, we no longer feel absolutely certain about them. This opens the door to replacing your old, dis-empowering beliefs with new beliefs that support you in the direction you want to go.”

Do you know what your limiting beliefs are? Can you pinpoint them?

Examine your life, determine what is not working according to your liking and you’ve found the areas where you are led by limiting beliefs.

If you can’t figure it out by yourself, ask for help. Work with a personal coach. Find a mentor. But do what you need to do in order to free yourself up from what is holding you back.



365 DAYS OF GRATITUDE – DAY 139: Unresolved Emotional Issues? Here’s What You Do.


First of all, how do you know you have unresolved emotional issues?

Let me ask you these questions first:

  • Are you angry with yourself, your mother or father, your teachers, your siblings or children, your spouse or ex-spouse?
  • Do you feel like a victim?
  • Are you unable to have a conversation with someone without having to prove yourself?
  • DO you feel shame for something you did?
  • Do you feel you’re not good enough?
  • Are you jealous of other people’s success?
  • Do you feel undeserving?
  • Are you jealous of your partner/lover/friend/spouse?
  • Do you get angry without any apparent reason?

If you answered yes to one or more of these questions, you do have unresolved emotional issues. They prevent you from living your life the way you want it. They create stress and misery. Eventually, if uncleared, they will affect your health.

So what can you do?

Go to the list above and start writing down all the things, events and circumstances you feel that you have unresolved emotional ties to.

This is exactly what I did about 8 years ago: I took a full day of silence, I stayed home and kept writing everything I remembered. I wrote and I wrote and I wrote, until I felt that there was nothing more to add to the list.

I then took two differently colored markers, one for big issues and one for small issues, and marked down my list. And then, I started to work through them.

Some days I could only deal with a small thing, and that’s what I did. If I had to tell someone that I was sorry for something I did, I called them or wrote them a note. If I had to tell someone how their actions made me feel hurt or angry, I connected with them and voiced my feelings. If I realized that I could let go of things right then and there, without further action, then I let them go.

And every once in a while, I chose to deal with a bigger issue on my list. If I needed the help and support of a good friend, I asked them to assist me. I also worked with teachers and mentors who helped me make sense of what I was feeling and showed me how to clear my unresolved emotions.

Bottom line is this: I did not stop until I worked through all the things on my list. Some were easy, some required strength and determination on my part, but I DID NOT STOP.

With every single thing crossed off my list, I felt stronger, clearer, more joyful.

I felt proud of myself. My life began to change and reflect my clearer emotional state.

I am now inviting you to take the same steps. You will never look back.

Ask for help when you need it and keep going.

I am holding a strong vision for you: I see you emotionally cleansed and FREE.

And I KNOW you can do it!



365 DAYS OF GRATITUDE – DAY 138: Clear The Path And Change Your Life


In yesterday’s post I wrote about things that stand between where you are now and where you desire to be. These things prevent you from creating the life you want. Here’s the little list again. You can add to it or subtract from it, as you please.

  • Unresolved emotional issues
  • Limiting beliefs
  • Physical clutter in your living and working space
  • Lack of clarity and goals
  • Lack of support
  • Failing to acknowledge and celebrate your success

I want you think about these things on the list as clutter. Pure clutter. Some emotional, some physical, some mental… but clutter non the less.

What do you think? How does it feel to view them as pure and plain clutter?

It diminishes their power, doesn’t it? It releases your apprehension, don’t you think?

What do you do with clutter?

You clear it!

It might take a few days, a few weeks, a few months or maybe a few years, depending on where you are starting.

But I want you to know that with every little piece cleared and out of the way, your life will change. A small change tomorrow, another one in a few days, a great breakthrough in  a few weeks. The sum of all these changes will increase its power day by day and the momentum will increase many fold.

You will start to notice your life flowing with more ease, you will feel less pressure and less stress, you will feel lighter and happier.

In a few months your life will be so different, that you will want to de-clutter even more.

Start now. Chose one little thing and clear it, let go of it or change your mind about it.

Don’t delay.

Your life is waiting!



365 DAYS OF GRATITUDE – DAY 137: What Stands Between You And The Life You Want?


The distance between where you are right now and where you desire to be is in direct proportion with a few things. Here’s a little list, and if you think is not complete, please feel free to add or subtract from it:

  • Unresolved emotional issues (anger, blame, shame, etc.)
  • Limiting beliefs (“I am not good enough”, “I do not deserve it”, “I can’t”, “Others are to blame for this, not me”, “Money is hard to come around”, “I am not lovable”, etc.)
  • Physical clutter (your desk, your office, your car and your home reflect your energy and can either help you or hinder your efforts)
  • Lack of clarity and goals (nothing can be achieved if you don’t sit down and decide to make a plan and follow it)
  • Lack of support (asking for help does not mean you are weak, but that you are determined to achieve what you want and if somebody can help you with that, then you will get their help; we are not meant to live in a vacuum or reinvent the wheel all the time)
  • Failing to acknowledge and celebrate your success (this is a big one! celebrating and being proud of your accomplishments lift you up and increase your energy and self esteem)

So start right here, right now.

Agree or disagree.

But do start thinking about it.

Contemplate it.

Have an opinion about it.

Start right now and right here.