365 DAYS OF GRATITUDE – DAY 106: Worrying About Someone? Don’t!

RUCSANDRA's PICTUREDo you ever worry about somebody you care about? Of course you do. Everybody does. Sometimes I find myself doing it as well, but the moment I become aware of it, I stop right then and there and realign my thoughts and my feelings. I want you to stop worrying because your worry does not help your loved ones.

Why do you worry? You worry because you care about someone and you want them to be well, to do well and to have everything work perfectly for them. Your wishes for them are one thing and they carry the energetic torch of success, health and well-being for them. Your worrying when things get hard for them is another things. Now, I do understand that what I am going to say next might not be easy to understand or agree with in the beginning, but please stay open to a different point of view.

Let me explain what I now know about worry. When you worry about someone, you are sending them an energy that weakens their strength and diminishes their life force. Worry is born from the lack of trust in their abilities to handle their own challenges and to follow their own path in life. You worry about something that might happen in the future, but the future is not here yet and you do not know how it will unfold.

Simply put, when you worry about others you are telling them energetically that you do not trust them to figure it all out for themselves, to raise to their own challenges, to find their own way. Even if you do not actually say these words to them, they pick it up from your energy, they can feel it and they feel diminished by how you feel about them. Your worry shows lack of trust in their capacity to live their life. Your worry is lack of trust in life.

So stop worrying about them. Trust them to figure it out; offer them your help if they ask for it but trust them to find their own way.

If you stop worrying, you tell them energetically that you believe in them and in their strength to clear their obstacles. Help them conquer their fears, overcome their challenges by stopping your own habit of worry. They will feel your trust and that will give them strength and courage.

Who are the persons you are worried about in this very moment? Hold them in your awareness and make the choice to trust them to be OK. Free them up from your worry and your own fears. Hold the vision of their well-being in your mind and stop worrying. Your trust in them will strengthen them.

Love,

Rucsandra

365 DAYS OF GRATITUDE – DAY 105: I Release All That No Longer Serves Me

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I just read a post on Facebook published by Louise Hay:

“I release all that no longer serves me. I am free and light.”

Many years ago, I realized that the frantic shopping habits that are linked with Christmas did not serve me at all, so I let them go. I became freer and lighter because of that. I do not like to shop, and I do not go shopping, just to fill my time or to see what’s out there that I might like and I do not succumb to the pressure of Christmas shopping.

Shopping became a sport in our culture, and an extreme sport if we stop to think about it. Pretty much like the extreme cleaning I was telling you about in my post yesterday. Buying tones of gifts and spending money that you might not have – just because you feel the pressure of Christmas – does not enhance your life. It create stress and a financial burden.

This year might be too late to reconsider releasing all this Christmas frenzy, but do keep it in mind for next year.

So honoring Christmas again, and my friend the Grinch, here’s my little verse for today:

Christmas will come despite money spent, despite bows and ribbons  and a credit card dent.

Love,

Rucsandra

365 DAYS OF GRATITUDE – DAY 104: The Grinch Didn’t Talk About Cleaning

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My memories of Christmas, growing up in Romania, are mostly sweet and warm. But my memories of the times leading up to Christmas speak of insanity. Yes, your read it right: insanity. Every single household appeared to be taken hostage by extreme cleaning (read “extreme”, like in extreme sports). And when I say extreme cleaning, I mean cleaning taken to the absurd. If you live in Romania and are getting ready for Christmas right now, you might get upset by what I am saying, but just read a different point of view; agree or not, I will not feel offended.

Let me take you on the journey of the cleaning fever that infected everyone, about ten days before Christmas. Everything had to be spotless; furniture was moved so the floors could be fully and properly cleaned, carpets were taken outside to be beaten with no mercy and released of their accumulated dust and dirt; some carpets were even washed; closets and cupboards were emptied and every item pulled out to be cleaned, washed, fixed or thrown out; bathrooms and kitchens, if not up to par, would be given a fresh coat of paint; windows were cleaned, everything was vacuumed a couple of times, just for good measure; doors were fixed, hinges were oiled. Balconies and backyards got the same treatment. Everyone in the family was given tasks – small and large – by the matron of the house (in my case my mother) and everyone worked hours and hours every day until everything got the pass of approval.

OK, I am not saying that cleaning to such extent is not a good thing. It is. I do it too, in my home and my business, and having grown up in Romania, I can assure you that I know how to clean. I have yet to find a cleaning lady who beats my cleaning skills. BUT, I do not do it at Christmas time.

On top of all the cleaning, the groceries had to be bought and brought home and the Christmas feast had to be cooked. If  you have ever eaten a holiday meal at a Romanian table, you know that there must be enough food to feed a hungry battalion. I have to admit, I am guilty of this myself, as my friends comment when they come for dinner. I have shaken the “extreme cleaning” conditioning, but have retained the “cooking for 100” one.

What I am remembering though –  and this is the point I want to make – is that by the time Christmas arrived and it was time to seat around the beautiful dinner table, laden with fabulous, plentiful food, in a spotless, sparkling clean and beautifully decorated home, everyone was exhausted from days and days of heavy work, cranky and ready to go to bed.

Even the Grinch got it in the end:

“Maybe Christmas, perhaps, means a little bit more!”

Dr. Seuss didn’t talk about extreme cleaning, that’s true, but paraphrasing the Grinch maybe Christmas is about a little more than an impeccably clean home.

So here’s my little verse, honoring the Grinch and what he learned about Christmas:

Christmas will come despite dust on the floor, despite messy cupboards and a creaky old door.

Love,

Rucsandra

365 DAYS OF GRATITUDE – DAY 103: Be Like A Redwood Tree

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Do you know that the magnificent redwood trees can grow as high as 350 meters? Actually, researchers have confirmed that a 379.1 foot tree in Redwood National Park in Northern California is the world’s tallest; that is a foot higher than they originally thought.

An even more interesting fact is that their roots are very shallow, often only five or six feet deep. So how can they grow so tall and be so resistant and resilient?

Their shallow roots create systems that extend between fifty and a hundred feet from the base, intertwining with the roots of other redwoods; their roots even fuse together. This gives them tremendous strength against the forces of nature. They rely on their interconnected, remarkable root systems for strength and resilience, being capable of withstanding high winds and raging floods.

Who are the people in your life you can truly rely on? Who are the people in your life who inspire you and are there for you?  I want you to imagine that you and them share an intricate, powerful and strong root system, just like the redwood trees. You strengthen each other.

Close your eyes and imagine yourself as a redwood tree in your redwood grove, connected with your special redwood friends.

Whenever you feel alone or are going through a tough time, come back to this image of the redwood grove that you are part of and draw your strength from the connection you have with the others. Your grove will help you, will give you hope and will hold you while you heal.

Be like a redwood tree. Connect deeply with others and allow them to be your support system.

Love,

Rucsandra

365 DAYS OF GRATITUDE – DAY 102: Somewhere Over The Rainbow… REALLY?

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I told you before that I do not believe in taboos. Well, I don’t. And I don’t like them because they create misunderstanding and fear. So, may I dismantle (you know, as in rip to shreds) this famous song?

“Somewhere over the rainbow, way up high
There’s a land that I heard of once in a lullaby
Somewhere over the rainbow, skies are blue,
And the dreams that you dare to dream, really do come true.”

The skies are blue right here and right now, not somewhere over a rainbow.

Dreams come true right here and right now, now over imaginary rainbows!

The reason why I want to rip to pieces this song is because I believe that our culture has evolved on concepts like the ones sold in the famous “Somewhere Over The Rainbow”. We were raised to believe that life will be good once we get that degree, that car, that relationship, that job, that particular raise, etc, etc, etc.

Can you see where the problems start? We are trained to race towards goals and achievements and the next big thing. And as we are doing that, WE ARE MISSING OUR LIVES! Can you tell how bothered I am about this?

This very song, these very lyrics… what do they actually teach? That you can dare dream somewhere over a rainbow, but not right here and right now. Maybe this might seem far fetched to you, but it is not.

Every single day is a GIFT. Every single day is unique and it will never come back. Even in the darkest of times, there is the healing to be shared.

Why dream of a rainbow that once you manage to find (in a lullaby to be precise) allows you to dare to dream? Why not reach high right now? Why not dare right now?

Why not be happy right in this very moment? Why not look for the beauty of life, even when it seems that there is none?

You see, if we continue to think that dreams come true somewhere over a rainbow, we’ll never dare to dream.

Wayne Dyer says:

“I am realistic. I expect miracles.”

Please be realistic: expect miracles. You are capable of allowing them into your life. But do it here and now, not somewhere in the future, over a rainbow.

Love,

Rucsandra

365 DAYS OF GRATITUDE – DAY 101: What Do You Do In The Valley?

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Let’s talk about Valleys, now that we talked about Peaks in yesterday’s post. Valleys follow Peaks, but their depth depends on how you handled the Peaks. The more aware, conscious and authentic you remained when things were really, really good, the more prepared you are to handle the lows of your Valleys.

The truth is that Valleys are periods of time when we are given the great gift of re-assessing. You might think that they are there to bring us down, to slow us down, to break us. But that is not true at all. They appear in our lives, so that we can redefine what it is that we truly desire; so that we can connect with ourselves more truthfully than before. If we understand that, then we remain present and we open ourselves more to the gifts of a Valley.

So think about it: are you in a Valley right now? If you are, then go deeper inside yourself and allow yourself to cherish your experiences, your relationships, your wishes, your dreams. Connect with yourself. Be kind to yourself. Become more patient, more understanding. Take a deep breath. Choose to be who you are. Go beyond what you were told, what others expect of you, what you think you should be doing. Go deep inside yourself and allow your magnificence to come to the surface. Allow your true nature to show you the way, to offer you the next step.

All Valleys are there to SERVE YOU. Let go of fear and surrender to the wisdom held in a Valley. You will be transformed!

Love,

Rucsandra

365 DAYS OF GRATITUDE – DAY 100: What Do You Do On The Peak?

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100 days of gratitude so far! 100 days of sharing with you  every day. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Today I will continue on the theme of yesterday’s post. This is so important, that I feel the need to explain it more. What is a Peak, first of all? A peak is a period of time when things are very good, when you are successful, when your relationships are fulfilling, calm and on an the upswing. Things are going your way and you are happy, relaxed and optimistic. Life is good.

Life is so good sometimes that most people become careless. Has that ever happen to you? It certainly happened to me; that is why I know what Peaks are all about.

Let me explain. Let’s say that your romantic relationship (the one you dreamed about and you were ecstatic when it came into your life) has been really great for quite a while. In fact, it has been so great, that as you settle into your happiness, you become so relaxed that you are starting to take the marvel that it is for granted. You stop doing all the little things that fuel your romance and forget to acknowledge your blessings. You still love what you have, but you spend a lot less effort feeding the beauty of your connection, respecting the space and the desires of your partner.

You see, everything was going so wonderfully right because of the consciousness you put into your relationship, because of your day to day care, respect, compassion, deep listening and honest sharing. So, as your efforts lessen, so is the greatness of the moment. And then things start to bother you and you become upset.

Now, I am not saying that ups and downs do not occur, regardless of what you do. They do occur, but what matters is what you do in every single moment. Your passion, your attention, your compassion and your listening fuel your relationship. As you start doing less, the energy of your connection dissipates.

You experienced a great Peak, but you cherished it less.

Do you see? What you do on your Peak allows it to continue or starts to chip away at its magnificence.

I have been striving to remain present. I do not want to take anything for granted because life is precious and every moment is unique and completely unrepeatable. Every single Peak moment gives me a tremendous gift that I hold close to my heart, because I know how precious it is.

Cherish your Peaks and give even more of yourself, every single day.

Love,

Rucsandra

365 DAYS OF GRATITUDE – DAY 99: River Deep, Mountain High

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Yesterday I watched Celine Dion on YouTube. Her 2012 Las Vegas performance of “River Deep, Mountain High” made me want to go and watch Tina Turner perform the original song with Ike Turner, in 1966. The links here will allow you to watch them too. I think you will enjoy their voices and that you will be inspired by their inner power.

River Deep, Mountain High.

These words and the lives of Celine Dion and Tina Turner speak of the deepest lows and the most incredible highs of the human experience. I am moved by the triumph over adversity and the success they both created in their lives.

As I allowed myself to be transported from deep rivers to high mountains through their extraordinary voices, my mind linked the experience to a book called “Peaks and Valleys” by Spencer Johnson M.D. It is a book that I recommend you read, because it will teach you important things about life, things that were not and are not taught in school. I wish they were and I believe that one day they will.

“The purpose of the Peak is to celebrate life, and the purpose of the Valley is to learn about life.”

I wish that I was taught in grade one that Peaks are the moments when I appreciate what I have and the Valleys are the moments when I long for what I am missing. My life would have been easier and would have had less strife had I known about these peaks and valleys from very early on. But, I am grateful that I know now about them now.

“Peaks and valleys are connected. The errors you make in today’s good times create tomorrow’s bad times. And the wise things you do in today’s bad times create tomorrow’s good times.”

Powerful book. Buy it and read it. Give yourself this gift for Christmas this year.

Love,

Rucsandra

365 DAYS OF GRATITUDE – DAY 98: The Quiet Inside My Mind

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Today I am grateful for feeling quiet inside my mind, inside my own being. I celebrate the calmness and ease that have become my internal state. It hasn’t always been like this. I lived the larger part of my life, like most people do, in worry, in fear, in emotional turmoil and anxiety. The transformation did not happen over night; it rather came in small increments over the past few years as the result of my continuous efforts to understand myself, to release the past and to allow faith to guide me.

I studied many different healing modalities and had many teachers. I read countless books on the connection between emotional health, subconscious programming and physical health. I attended seminars, workshops and learned about meditation. I continued to learn about the physical body and expanded my studies to the emotional body and the energetic body. I went on to understand the spiritual aspect of who I was. I welcomed new ideas and challenging thoughts.

You  might think that because of all that, I have reached this wonderful place of calmness. That isn’t true. Learning everything that I have learned expanded my horizons, but created no change; it increased my awareness of the countless possibilities and the very numerous paths that are available to all of us, but it did not bring about the sense of calmness and balance that I am now so grateful for.

What allowed the transformation to take place was not all the knowledge I accumulated or the intellectual understanding of specific concepts. The transformation did not happen because I worked with great teachers and facilitators.

It was my own inner work that made the shift a reality. The teachers and the books have showed me that there were doors to be opened, but I had to desire and have the courage to open them. I had to decide for myself  to actually take the first step after  opening one of these doors. And I had to find the inner resources to continue walking forward. I had to make the decision to not succumb to fear and keep walking; over and over I had to make this very decision.

Now, I want you to know that every once in a while I still have a day when my mind is cluttered and fear starts to get a hold of me, but I am not willing to spend any precious time in a cluttered and fearful place, so I use my knowledge to release fear and resistance, clear my mind and return to a state of inner balance.

Doing my own inner work was worth it. Still is.

Love,

Rucsandra

365 DAYS OF GRATITUDE – DAY 97: Are You Allowing Or Resisting?

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What do you feel in this very moment? Do you feel something positive or do you feel something negative? Take a moment and check in. Do you feel clear, relaxed and positive about your life in general, or are you experiencing negative emotions?

This is important. Important. Very important!

“Negative emotion is your indicator of resistance, while positive emotion is your indicator of allowance. And they are on the same meter: allowance; resistance. Allowance; resistance.” – Abraham – Hicks

Tune in with yourself and bring your emotions to the surface.

What are you resisting? What are you not allowing to flow easily into your life?

I use this emotional barometer every day. I decided long time ago that I will not work against myself and that I will always be on my side. If I don’t feel good inside I know that I am resisting life and that I am struggling with myself. So I take the time to realign, to release, to clear and start feeling better. Every day.

Are you on your side?

Love,

Rucsandra

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