As I wrote yesterday, I am grateful for the understanding that I am the only creator of my life and the freedom that comes from releasing blame. I am also very grateful for understanding that being angry with myself does not serve me or anyone else around me.
In my post two days ago I wrote that when anger comes up from somewhere deep inside yourself, there are two options:
1. You are angry with SOMEBODY ELSE for something they did or did not do
2. You are angry with YOURSELF for something you did or did not do
Yesterday I explained why you cannot be angry with somebody else for the things that are happening in your life. Today let’s look at OPTION 2: You are angry with YOURSELF.
Nobody else has the power to create YOUR life, but you. YOU are the only creator of your life and you are responsible for YOUR happiness ONLY.
In every situation that you are still angry about, YOU AND ONLY YOU were responsible for standing up for yourself and for having your own back. This means that you angry not with someone else, but WITH YOURSELF.
People say that this type of anger is even harder to let go of.
Is it, really?
With the greater understanding that you are not angry with others but with yourself, let’s work this part together as well. We are getting to the core of this anger issue.
Are THEY responsible for what they did or said and for how they treated you?
The answer is YES! Yes, THEY WERE AND ARE responsible for what THEY DID AND DO AND FOR WHAT THEY SAID OR STILL SAY. They are responsible for ALL THEIR ACTIONS.
And you are responsible for all YOUR actions!
Why did YOU allow others to treat you the way they did? Why did YOU take it? Why did YOU not say something when you really wanted to? Why did YOU not stand up for yourself?
The answer is very simple and will release the blame you might have for yourself: at the time, YOU DID NOT KNOW what else to do. You did not know that YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO CHOOSE how YOU want to be treated. You thought you had to stick it out, to be kind and patient and wait for the other to see the truth, to realize what they were doing to you and to see you for who you really are.
Well, you do not have to wait patiently until someone else realizes that you have the right to be treated with respect. You have to start treating yourself with respect.
With this deeper understanding of your old choices, look at yourself back then and acknowledge how afraid, lonely and small you really felt. If the YOU back then knew what you KNOW NOW, do you think the events would have taken the same turn? Of course not! You would have seen the signs and made your choices based on respect and love for yourself.
Would you be angry with a child because they don’t know how things work, stick a nail in the electrical outlet and get zapped? You would not be angry; you would be very concerned and teach them that electrical outlets are dangerous and could really hurt them. You would tell them that you love them and that you want them to be safe.
From an emotional perspective, back then YOU WERE A CHILD. So take a moment now and see the child that you were then, doing his or her best the only way they knew how. You did what you knew, how you knew it and with the understanding you had back then. Back then, you thought that electrical outlets were toys. But now you know they are not and you stay away from them.
Seeing yourself in this light releases your anger, doesn’t it?