Here’s another big thing that I am very grateful for: I have learned that anger only hurts me. My being angry does not solve anything, but it can definitely poison my days and my nights. So I made a decision a long time ago to not spend any time on being angry; that is to not spend anymore time than the 90 seconds required for the anger to flush through my system. I wrote about the 90 second rule in my post on Day 9 .
I often talk to my clients about the healing power of letting go of anger. In one of my programs about emotional cleansing, I was asked the following question:
“Other people have really hurt me, how do I release this anger? How do I let it go? I am angry and I am hurting.”
Do you feel like this too? Are you angry because of something that someone else did? Ok, let’s talk about this. And when I am done answering this question, I will share with you one of the most powerful moments of my life. I will share with you the gift of my sister’s death.
Anger is what is left behind after circumstances, events and encounters that have not been easy for you and during which you felt that you were being hurt.
I want to tell you that there is nothing wrong with feeling anger. Since we are emotionally equipped for feeling it, it is meant to be part of our human existence. Anger puts us into motion, forces us to find answers and makes us take action. It is healthy to allow yourself to feel anger fully.
The important point is: HOW LONG are you going to stay angry for?
Remember the 90 Second Rule? That is all the time that your body needs to feel, process and let go of anger. If you are still angry days, weeks, months or even years after it all ended, you are doing so by choice.
Now, I need to stop here for a second, so that you can read the last sentence again.
Even though you might be feeling your anger rising right now at the very concept of your choosing your anger, think about it this way: anger is linked to blame. You are angry because you are blaming someone for your pain. You are caught in a vicious cycle of blame, in a burning ring of anger.
There are two options:
1. You are angry with SOMEBODY ELSE for something they did or did not do
2. You are angry with YOURSELF for something you did or did not do
I will explain these two options in my next post, so stay with me. This is important.