This next category of fears has been identified by the great visionary Gregg Braden. He says that these three Universal fears are at the base of all the fears and behaviors that are present within ourselves and others.
- Abandonment and Separation
- Low Self-Worth
- Lack of Trust
These three basic underlying fears are the roots of the sociological and perceptual fears. With few exceptions, our experiences of pain, suffering, illness, disease, and emotional trauma have their roots in these core universal fears.
In his book “The Divine Matrix”, Gregg Braden wrote:
“The root of our ‘negative’ experiences may be reduced to one of three universal fears (or a combination of them): abandonment, low self-worth, or lack of trust.”
Let’s look at the fear of abandonment and separation first.
The fear of abandonment and separation stems from the ancient fear that we were abandoned by our creator without explanation or reason. Religions across the globe increase this feeling of separation, of abandonment as well as the belief that we need to repent and change if we are to be forgiven and loved by the creator again. Because of this long history of being left to fend for ourselves, while God/Creator judges from above, we feel alone in the world, in the Universe. We feel without support, without real caring and understanding; we are terrified.
This fear is expressed in our lives when we are devastated when our relationships fail, always being the one who gets “left” in the relationship, and/or being the first to leave a good relationship so that we are not hurt. The truth is that relationships do not fail; they CANNOT fail. They are taking their course as energy streams between people, they are the creations of people’s beliefs, fears and expectations.
If we fear abandonment we become clingy and needy or we go the other way and reject any meaningful connection with another.
What I want to tell you is that if you pay close attention to how you feel, you will know when the fear of abandonment is surfacing. Take a good look at the main relationships in your life: what do you feel? How do you perceive them? Do you allow others to be who they are or do you feel the need to know their every move and every thought? Do you wait for them to fulfill your needs? Are you afraid to open up and be who you are with your lover/partner?
What if you stopped being afraid of true sharing with another person? What if you stopped being afraid that you will be left by someone?
This is intense, I know. But by looking at all this aspects of how you engage others and life in general, by understanding where your choices come from and then make better choices for yourself, you will release fear and become free.
Until tomorrow, just sit with these thoughts, examine your closest relationships and see if you fear abandonment and separation.