365 DAYS OF GRATITUDE – DAY 36: Beyond Fear Part 4 – Familial Fear


It is Thanksgiving Weekend here in Canada and I had the day off, enjoyed a powerful hot yoga class (very hot actually), a wonderful walk on a great trail along lake Ontario and a fabulous Italian dinner with very good friends. For a moment I was tempted to write about all that, but my “Beyond Fear” posts called me back in. What better way to express my thanks and my gratitude than sharing with you what I have learned about the great illusion of fear?

So, let’s go back to the categories of fear. Yesterday I explained the societal or collective fears, which have a strong grasp on our society and assault us every day.

Familial fear on the other hand is what we are exposed to on a smaller scale, in our very own families.

Let’s say that your mother was afraid of germs and of getting sick. Well, chances are that you are afraid of the same things. If you bought into her way of thinking, you believe that germs are scary and that it is extremely easy for you to get sick.

If your parents or primary caretakers were afraid of other people, afraid of life in general, you learnt a specific behavior that you think keeps you safe. The fear, the distrust and living your life in small doses is NOT WHO YOU ARE. It is only learned behavior and THAT YOU CAN CHANGE.

Familial fears are what you were exposed to and what you took at face value only because at that early age you did not really have alternatives. You absorbed everything in your home environment and believed it to be true. The reason you absorbed it all so accurately lies in the capacity for filtering information that we only develop at 7 or 8 years of age. Before then, everything becomes embedded in the subconscious mind and we start living with the embedded information as being the truth.

In order for you to understand what I just said, let’s use an example. Let’s say that someone looks at me today and tells me square in my face that I am stupid. Will I believe that right now? Of course not. I might get irritated by such an attitude, but I know for a fact that I am not stupid so I would definitely not believe the words.

But, if someone had told me when I was a young child that I was stupid and repeated it enough times, I would have believed them in the end. I would have taken their words and considered them to be the truth. As a result, my life would have been shaped by the deep-seated belief that I was stupid and I could not achieve certain things or be who I wanted to be and so on.

The same stands true for the fears that were impressed upon you as a child.

These are familial fears; they are familiar, so you go with them. They are what you know, and until you look at them  and release them, your life will be shaped by them without you even having the awareness of it.

You are not what you are told you were, you are so much more! We all are. So, I will continue my fear posts until there is nothing more to say and you see that what you are afraid of can be let go of fully and for ever.

Happy Thanksgiving! Thank you. I love you.


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