My physical body proved to be my invaluable teacher. Given the fact that for 25 years I have been teaching people how to move better in order to get out of discomfort and pain and how to heal on all levels of their being, my personal lessons served my clients as well. If I were to write about it all today, it would make for a really long read, so these posts will be spread throughout the year.
In the late ’90s, I studied Classical Pilates with Dianne Miller in Vancouver. During one of the morning workouts with my peers, my lower back started to release and move with more ease and freedom than I have ever felt before. In the afternoon we were in class, studying anatomy and practicing our teaching skills when my back seized up. I was in trouble and I was in pain. Not wanting to disturb the class, I made my way to the washroom; I did not know what to do, so I just stood there. My spine was locked, my lower back and hips throbbed with what felt like someone jabbing a sharp object into my muscles. I started to cry slowly, because I hurt and because initially I was scared. This was the beginning of a wonderful experience of emotional release brought about by a physical release.
My quiet crying soon became loud sobbing, interrupted only by the fact that I felt embarrassed and tried to make less noise. I could not stop sobbing, and gasped for air as tears flowed out of my eyes and down my cheeks in abundant streams; did not even know why I was crying and that was strange, but I discovered that my back was not hurting anymore and I could again move with ease. After a few more minutes the crying stopped. What had just happened? I had no idea, but decided to accept it as it was and return to my class. All was fine until about an hour later when the whole cycle started again: back spasm and pain, trip to the washroom, uncontrolled and un-consolable sobbing, complete release of pain and discomfort and the return to my class in a calm, non-sobbing state. This happened over and over for three days, at larger and larger intervals of time. I only had two choices, it seemed: to cry and feel great in my body, or to be in pain. What a remarkable mechanism! My body initiated a powerful physical and emotional release and I allowed it to unfold without being afraid. When the process was complete my body felt light, mobile and at ease.
I am grateful for my body teaching me this method of multi-level, simultaneous release. It was an intense experience, but in the absence of fear, the realignment of the body took place unobstructed; the emotional residues trapped in the tissues were released without the need to be looked at or examined. This was a flawless process, orchestrated by the innate knowledge of the physical body. The only thing required was my awareness in action.